How to Retire Tommorow (and why you should) Pt 1

Guess what everyone...Hmm...Any takers? No, okay, here it goes. I retired today! You can too! Well maybe not in any of the traditional senses:

go into retirement; stop performing one's work or withdraw from one's position; "He retired at age 68"
withdraw from active participation; "He retired from chess"

Well fuck it, I won't be bound by mere traditional definitions. Chuck Boobs might still be gainfully employed, but that's besides the point. I made the decision to stop working for money. No no no damn it, I am not working for free either. Let me explain, please keep reading.

Today I decided to stop going to work for the sole purpose of generating an income. Why, because working for an income is the worst thing you can do. Come on now class, let's investigate all of the reasons why:

#1. You'll always be below someone.
I realized this one while I was in the military. No matter how much time and effort you dedicate in the capacity of an employee, you're someones bitch. Plain and simple. I could have done 40 years and become a General with some crazy ass job title working in the E Ring of The Pentagon. Reality is I would still have 25 asshole bosses, and they would have even more. And maybe someday if you're really really lucky, you could be the president. Then you would only have 301,139,947 bosses (give or take) as well as what is probably the least fun job in the world.

Until you take the helm of your life ship (from here on referred to as "Sweet Tits Pimp Mobile 2000" or STPM2) someone else is controlling your life. Take control. Succeed or fail, at least your life is yours.

#2. Your time isn't your time.
Your time is The Man's time. The Man's time is horribly inefficient for you. Everyday you show up to build someone else's investments, to make their assets more valuable. Pretty much across the board your pay is based on the time that you work. S + H + I + T + T + Y=shitty. Just consider the principality of that. Your money only works when you do. Does that seem like a wise investment at all?

#3. Time. Again.
The STPM2 (Sweet Tits Pimp Mobile 2000 if you forgot already) will only run for so many years. It will only run WELL for a shorter period than that. We've got some simple basic math coming up in a second, let's just line a few things up.
Averages- Average age to start working: 16, Average age to retire: 65, Average work day: 9-5 (8hrs per day, 5 days per week, 40hr work week.) Now I'm not going to get all fucking crazy and figure in paid vacation, sick days, federal holidays, and all of that stuff. This is for illustrative purposes only. 52 40hr weeks per year= 2080 hrs. 49 years of servitude to The Man is 2548 weeks. 101,920hrs is quite a bit of time use unhappily building other peoples assets. Think about all the places you could go, all of the things you can do and see in that time span. While we're at it think about the time you could spend with friends and family. Life is short and unpredictable, savor every moment you get.

#4. Being an employee is too competitive.
Not that it is unreasonably competitive if you're of above average intelligence. However, for what it is, why should you have to try so hard? Our parents said "Get a degree, get a job with a big company." Fucking wonderful, now there are only 100 people in your same position fighting for the same job with the same qualifications...peachy keen indeed. Not to mention the job probably sucks ass anyway.

#5. Job security is a joke.
Unless you're self employed, you are at the whim and mercy of your supervisors. If you're an entrepreneur and something falls through, you have a million different directions to go and generate income. If you're an employee, well that's another story. Piss someone off, you're done. Downsizing, screwed. Improving efficiency, could be your job. Motivated independent individual who thinks outside the box, yeah you're fucked- you just make too many of your seniors look bad. Just remember, "You're fired" is all it takes.

#6. Education and experience
Unless you have found a job that you truly enjoy, the education and experience you gain from it aren't worth that much at all. What happens? You just get better and more efficient at your job. Remember that in the end you are just finding faster smarter ways to build the assets and investments of others. Experience within a field is far different from life experience.

#7. Social life
Do you remember when you went out to dinner with Bob from accounting and his crazy bitch of a wife. Sweet. This is another one that I brought from the military, but was reminded of by Steve Pavlina. I met some of the most amazing people in the world while I was serving. I have friendships that will last forever. I doubt that the average civilian job builds these, but that's besides the point.

You are smarter than the average bear (right Booboo?) You need stimulus and input from all angles. When you are in an consistent environment you stagnate. You crave something beyond the same people everyday at work and the same people from work drunk every weekend. I guess this one could go either way. Regardless of your work situation, try and meet someone new every day.

I think that you're starting to get the picture. Just in case you need some more reenforcement- Here Goes The Speed Round

#8. Cubicles Suck


#9. This Isn't The Company Car


#10. This Isn't Your Paycheck


There you go, 10 solid reasons. 10 reasons why working for an income is a bad idea that will leave a bad taste in your mouth that gets worse the longer you think about it. Part 2 of this multiple part blog will explain how to break from this mentality and immediately retire.

Chuck Boobs

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